Elevator pitch: What is virtualization?

Don’t we all know the situation when you’re at a party and some beautiful woman asks you: “What do you do for a living?”. After telling them that you are a specialist in the field of virtualization and mostly work with VMware products, virtual switches, VMs, VMotions, etc, you get that glazing stare and they’ll soon hop on to your neighbor who is a jet fighter pilot. Its clear, we need to get an elevator pitch.

Pitch1: for the lady with the self knitted woolen sweater with the “Save the Whale” symbol on it: “I work in IT and am a specialist in virtualization which helps save the environment by combining a lot of computers into one”.

Pitch2: for the lady that arrived in the Mercedes Cabrio: “I work in IT as a specialist in virtualization which makes enterprises save a lot of money on hardware investements, power usage, cooling costs and therefore have a positive effect on their profits”.

Pitch3: for the mother with teenage kids: “I work in IT as a specialist in virtualization. With virtualization you could give your kids their own private PC inside your home PC, so they don’t mess up your pc with backgrounds, etc”

Pitch4: for the mom of 4: “My job is totally unimportant and stressfree compared to yours. I only work with virtual things”

Pitch5: for the very sexy lady: “My job is to get better uptimes in IT.”

Pitch6: for the magical lady: “What you do with rabbits, I do with old servers, I make them disappear”

Pitch7: for the lady with the extra pair of shoes in her bag: “Like you, I prepare  for disasters, not by wardrobe backup but in IT, by using virtualization techniques”

Pitch8: for the girl with 1001 online friends on facebook: “I prevent you from getting lonely by making sure Facebook has enough resources to run on”

Pitch9: for the lovely petite Parisienne: “Hi, I do the same work Alan Renouf does”

Pitch10: for the good looking top model: “Hi, I’m Duncan Epping”.

But seriously, what do you tell peope? Let me know in the comments…..

  • David

    :) very good. From what i've heard young Duncan is a legend in his own trousers.

  • Steve Kaplan (@roidude)

    Wow, I've always just said, “I do computer stuff”

  • I work with computers, you've never heard of the company I work for. No, I won't fix your computer

  • For most folk: “I make the internet work”
    For *-parents: “It's not a chicken, you can't eat it”

  • I help large enterprises with computers but not with the kind of computer you have at home.

  • Mark Vaughn (@mvaughn25)

    I still like the simple “I void warranties”. I follow Red Green's philosophy on technology – there are two kinds of gadgets in the world, those that don't have enough features and those that are broken.

  • Duncan

    I usually start with number 10!

  • virtual_geek

    For sexy girls: “I manage datacenters”, Avg girl: “I work in IT”, Guys: “Virtualisation Specialist”

  • Michael

    – I've tried pitch #10 and got blank looks.
    – I've tried pitch #9 and they never know who Alan Renouf is. One person thought he was a porn star! You never know…
    – I've tried pitch #0 and bored the pants off people.
    – I've tried telling people that I deal drugs in an attempt to be amusing and because I didn't know what else to do. I felt the need to leave that party quite quickly afterwards.

    Mostly I say that I'm a IT consultant specialising in Virtualisation. Some people want to know more, some don't.

    I like @vmdoug's response though :-)

  • Justin

    Hi, I'm Nick Weaver.

  • “I'm an Internet plumber.”

  • Computers? What's a computer I just cut grass. (prevents a lot of stupid ?'s at parties)

  • dboftlp

    I make the little lites go blinky

  • Viaxlv

    I'm Bond, James Bond. it works always ;)

  • jonowings

    I take some computers and put them inside other computers… crap, I do computer stuff. No, I don't know how your facebook got hacked.

  • Let's first get a few facts straight:

    Fact #1: All modern women use twitter (And yes, that includes the mom of 4)

    Fact #2: Gabe knows all (and conversates with) all women on twitter.

    So in my case, the conversation goes like:

    Me: “Hi, my name is Dominique”

    Other: “Hey, I saw you in Gabe's followers list, I see you have the same kind of job as Gabe?

    Me: “Yes!”

    Mission accomplished :)

  • Jan Klincewicz

    I play baritone sax in a brothel.

  • Most people: I look after computers within computers, kinda like looking after the matrix and making sure no one knows if their resources are in the matrix or the real world while trying to assimilate as many things into the matrix.

    Woman who battle to get into facebook: i get paid to play with computers

    Fellow IT people: I'm the one that should get the credit for your successful projects and I make you look good without you even knowing I'm there.

  • Pingback: All Things Virtual 18 « TheSaffaGeek()

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  • Nine times out of ten, if I tell someone that I “do that computer stuff”, they attempt to tell me all their digital woes, and can I please fix them in 30 seconds or less?

    It’s much easier to tell people that I am a proctologist.  That way, they aren’t trying to get “free samples” of my work.